Pre-Op Appointment

We made it to Houston just fine, but with yucky weather the whole way! I met with the Dr. and did all of the check in/registration/blood testing/waiting room business. My surgery has been moved up from 12 noon to 8 AM tomorrow. Less time to fast...yay! This liquid only diet is for the birds. I did get news from the Dr. that she wants me to continue the dairy free/gluten free diet for 6 more months :( I know some people like this diet, but it is not for me! I do have permission to eat whatever I want, though, following surgery :) She is wanting me to gain some of the weight back that I have lost over the past 2 months, so hopefully I can manage the diet and weight gain at the same time. This may call for an occasional cheat :)
That's all I have for now. We have to be at the hospital at 6 in the morning.

Thanks for the prayers!

Surgery

As most of you know, I will be having surgery on Thursday in Houston. We will be leaving tomorrow morning to make my pre-op appointment tomorrow afternoon. We will then return home Friday evening.
We have chosen over the past year to keep the struggles of infertility to ourselves and our families. However, when we found out that I would need surgery, we requested the prayers of the church. We still did not give much information, though. Please know that we have only kept things quiet because it is a difficult topic for me to talk about. I know that there are people who have struggled with similar problems for much longer than a year, so I feel a little silly being so down about our struggles. Even so, it is not an easy situation to deal with.

Many have asked why we are going to Houston and what the surgery is for. So, I wanted to share with you what the surgery is about. I have chosen to only share this post (via facebook) with members of the church. We are going to Houston because there is a Dr. there that specializes in the treatment of polycystic ovarian disease (PCOD), which is what I have been diagnosed with, among other issues. You can click the Caritas link below to read about the Dr and her office.
Here is our treatment plan as well as details about the type of surgery I will be having:
-I have been on a dairy free, gluten free diet over the past 7 weeks. This is an anti-inflammatory diet that has hopefully helped with the inflammation of my ovaries.
-I have been using the Creighton Model Charting System. http://www.creightonmodel.com/
-On Thursday the Dr. will do the Ovarian Wedge Resection, Laser surgery for Endometriosis (if she finds that I have endometriosis), selective hystero-salpingography, and a hysteroscopy (scope inside uterus).

The surgery will be laparoscopic and should last 2-3 hours. The recovery time is expected to be 2-4 weeks. Hopefully the recovery will be closer to the 2 week mark than the 4 week. :)

I have included some websites with more information if you are interested.
http://www.naprotechnology.com/surgical.htm
http://www.caritasfertilitycare.com/naprotechnology.php

ANTICIPATED RESULTS

Following the wedge resection, the cycles tend to become more regular again in about 80 percent of cases. Ovulation becomes more effective and Clomid can still be used but, in this case, at much lower doses.

Because women who have polycystic ovaries often have very long cycles, their risk of cancer of uterus and breast in increased. Cancer of the uterus, in particular, may occur in as many as 25 percent of these women. This is due to the continuous, prolonged stimulation of estrogen in the absence of progesterone (which happens with these long and irregular cycles). Progesterone can be administered on a cyclic basis to prevent this from happening.

After a wedge resection and when the cycles become more regular (in 80 percent of the cases), there is a natural regulation of the cycle because ovulation is now occurring more regularly, there are no longer prolonged episodes of estrogen stimulation and progesterone is produced on a regular basis thus preventing cancer of the uterus and breast.

In addition, while the male hormones are often elevated in women with Polycystic Ovarian Disease, and it requires medication to keep them down, these hormone levels decrease with wedge resection.
Finally, this is a procedure which, while improving a woman’s health, also results in regular menstrual cycle with regular ovulation and an improvement in fertility. The pregnancy rate following this procedure is nearly 70 percent in the experience of the Pope Paul VI Institute.

We greatly appreciate your prayers and support at this time. Please also pray that whatever the results may be, we will always trust in the Lord and His plan. We will try to keep you updated when I come out of surgery on Thursday.

A Plan for 2014

Those who know me well know that I am an extreme planner. I have already transferred important info from my 2013 agenda into my new 2014 agenda, set up my calendar of bill payment reminders for the year, and making plans for 2014 at work.... I would be thrilled if I could fill in the plans of everyday for the entire year of 2014. If possible, I would have work schedules, traveling plans, Dr. appointments, grocery lists, meal plans, date nights, laundry times, cleaning times, studying times, etc, etc, all "penciled in" for the rest of the year. Unfortunately, life does not work out this way. And oddly enough, not all people prefer to function this way. I can't image! ;) Even more so than wanting to be able to fill in all the little details that will make up the year's schedule, I just would like to know what the year has in store overall. Once again, I luck out in that department. What I am coming to realize, though, and trying to remind myself of daily, is that even though I do not know and cannot plan for what the future holds, I can find comfort in knowing that my Heavenly Father does know and is in control of my future. The hard part for me is trusting, waiting, and not worrying.

Throughout different struggles in life, I find that we often ask God, "Why?". Why is this happening, why isn't this working, why I am going through this, why me and not someone else, etc. As I have been facing a somewhat personal issue (a little too personal for the internet) throughout 2013, I have struggled with asking Why?, I have struggled with trusting, I have struggled with patience (among many other things). A dear family we know who had to bury their 8 year old son this week, said that they realized they should not being asking God, "Why?". They are finding comfort in the fact that God is in control. Who are we to question the Lord Almighty, the Creator of the universe, our loving Father?

Instead of wondering why things turn out the way they do, my goal for 2014 is to remember that my Heavenly Father has everything under control. Even if things don't work out the way I would have planned, I pray that I always remember that He loves me, is with me always, and that is truly all I need in this life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding" Prov 3:5
"He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he." Prov 16:20

My Cup will be Half Full

With no permanent residence, the last 2-3 weeks have been quite the adventure for me and Jordan. I would be lying if I said it was all fun and easy! Several times we have expressed our frustration with the situation. “We are so tired of lugging our suitcases around everywhere” “We are so tired of eating out” “We are so tired of unloading and repacking every night or two” Complaint, complaint, complaint…

After visiting with a good customer and friend at work yesterday, I began to have a different outlook on our current situation. As she was shopping, we started visiting about the holidays and about the pillows her mother in law had previously purchased from us for her birthday. She mentioned using them in her guest room, and I told her we are getting a new house and I thought that would be a great idea for our new guest room as well! Turns out, she and her husband are in the same situation as Jordan and I. As we continued discussing the similarities of houses we had looked at, places we are staying, and so on, she said something that made me stop in my tracks. She mentioned that throughout this time period, they have really become so grateful for the things they do have and less concerned with material blessings. (They, also, have nearly all of their belongings in storage and have been living with the “bare minimum”.) In more or less words, as her eyes began to water, she told me how she really felt that they needed this time to get their priorities straight in life and to realize the things that are most important. Eventually, our conversation came to a close, we wished each other well, and she went on her way. The rest of the night, this conversation ran through my head. How terrible of an attitude I have had! Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for all of those who have housed and fed us and am so excited to get to move into a new house, but all the while we have been waiting, my attitude has not proved to be one of thanksgiving. Life really could be a lot worse and more difficult for us than it is! 

Each year at Christmas, Jordan and I have a tradition of giving each other one ornament. We carefully choose which ornament to give to one another, whether it be a silly ornament or a "meaningful" ornament. This year Jordan made me the best ornament yet! He made a wooden house and wrote several things on it, including our new address. One thing he wrote, though, really stuck out: "Our first house, but not our first HOME". All of the actual structure, furniture, decor, etc make a house, but love and family make a HOME. I have realized that the old saying is true "Home is where your heart is". Although we don't have a house right now we have many homes (time share, friends houses, families houses, etc). And we will always have many homes as our hearts will always be in Yoakum and in Dripping, but OUR home is wherever we are together! (if I had the ornament with me, I would add a picture. Maybe some day I will get it up here!) :)

With running a business, I encounter so many people on a day to day basis. I often wonder what I can do to influence their lives for the better. In the meantime, this customer in particular, has influenced my life for the better! So grateful for her and all the sweet people we have met throughout the past 3 years with the store. I pray that I always portray a Christ-like attitude that will encourage our customers and all those I encounter.  “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” Matthew 5:16

I resolve to see my “cup” as half full rather than half empty this year. “Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice” Phil. 4:4

Who knew a conversation about these pillows could turn in to so much?!

Christmas 2012

Another Christmas has come and gone once again. It feels like it was just yesterday that Jordan and I were looking forward to being off work together for 5 days…but in reality, that was about seven days ago and we are back to work once again! I would say “back in the normal swing of things”, but life is far from “normal”. As we are waiting for paperwork to be completed for our new house, Jordan and I have been “homeless”for 11 days now. With two trailers and a garage full of our stuff, two vehicles packed with 4 suitcases of clothes and shoes and shower necessities, and a dog, moving from place to place every few nights, it is safe to say we are tired, frustrated, and ready to be in OUR HOUSE! We are, however, so thankful for friends, family, and the timeshare in Canyon Lake for housing us (and our stuff) over this “in between” period.

Our living situation at this time is not normal, but I would also venture to say there was nothing “normal” about this holiday season. As many things have and are changing, we tried to make the holiday season “normal”, but it just wasn’t the same. I know most things never will be the same, but at what point does something new become “normal”? Or does it ever?

Families change, traditions change, people change, and people grow                                                 

Days go by and life goes on, hold on tight, because quickly it goes                                                               

Sometimes it’s fair and sometimes it’s not           

Just remember to be happy for what you've got.                                                                             

Above all and throughout all change, I must remember to treat others the way I would like to be treated, even when it’s hard. As other things continue to change, I try to remind myself that life isn’t always “fair” and may never again be “normal” as we once knew it to be. I must learn to be content in whatever circumstance I am in and remember that change is part of God’s plan. There's always comfort to be found in the scriptures, and for He, who never changes, I am thankful!

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Thy Will, Not Mine

Over the past 8-10 months, something has weighed heavily on my heart and in my mind. For those of you who do not know, my sweet Nannaw’s time here on earth ended on March 31 this year. After about seven years of fighting, the cancer won. It has been a difficult journey for us all, my Pawpaw especially. When she passed, Nannaw and Pawpaw were just a couple of months away from their 68^th wedding anniversary. 68 years of marriage! What a beautiful marriage they had. A relationship, marriage, and family built upon the Lord, their Rock. This strong foundation showed in all they did in their day to day lives. Nannaw always had such sound advice; Pawpaw always talking about biblical things. Not only were/are their words an encouragement but also their actions. Nannaw was truly a Proverbs 31 woman. (I tried to pick a verse from Proverbs 31 to use, but the entire chapter is fitting). Pawpaw truly loved her as Christ loves the church and showed that love every day. I started to notice something said in Pawpaw’s prayers about a year or so ago. Of course, we always prayed for Nannaw and her health as she was struggling with the cancer. The difference between my prayer, though, and Pawpaw’s prayer were five little words. “If it be Thy will” I cannot remember a time that Pawpaw prayed for her without praying “if it be Thy will”. When I recognized this about a year ago, I started thinking, “why am I not praying this way?” I know that this is the attitude and prayer that we should have, but it seems so hard. I began to try to include this “phrase” in my daily prayers for Nannaw. However, I never felt sincere when saying “if it be Thy will”. I was so afraid that His will, would not be in line with my will. My will, of course, was for Nannaw to beat cancer and be with us here on earth for a much longer time. Then I started telling myself, if Pawpaw, of all people can pray this way, why can’t I? He was her husband, they were made “as one” nearly 68 years ago, they spent all day every day together, they worshiped together, they ate every meal together, they (at one time) milked cows together, they sat on the front porch together, the watched Dr. Phil together... everything they did, they did together. He was the one that would be most affected by her illness or passing. Yet, he was the one who could sincerely plead to God to heal his wife, but only if it be God’s will. I am not sure if Pawpaw will ever know the impact he has had on my life, especially my prayer life. Among many other things, he has showed me how I ought to pray and how strong my faith ought to be. Jesus showed us the same type of example when He prayed in the garden of Gethsemane. He was approaching the time of His crucifixion, yet He prayed “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass away from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as Thou wilt.” In order to pray “Thy will, not mine,” we must be able to deny self and fully trust in God, even when it is really hard. I am convinced that if I can get to the point to where I can sincerely pray “Thy will, not mine” about all things, then this attitude will carry over into my every day interactions with other people. God first, others second, me last.

Pawpaw prayed for Nannaw every day that she fought that cancer. God answered his prayers, just not with the answer we all wanted. However, Pawpaw’s trust in and love for God did not allow his faith to waiver. He is still as faithful as ever and still prays the most humble, sincere, selfless prayers I have ever heard. I thank God for him as his example and pray that my faith can be strengthened enough so that I can sincerely pray Thy will, not mine about all things.

Texas Youth Hunt Weekend

After several failed password attempts, I finally was able to log-back-in to my blog. I then realized it had been well over a year since I had written. So I thought, why not give it a try again?

This past weekend, Jordan and I spent our time with 8 youth hunters and their parents/guardians on 1100 acres of land owned by some very kind families. For those of you unfamiliar with the program, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department runs the Texas Youth Hunt Program (TYHP) across the state in many different areas, several times a year. Jordan has completed the required course to become a “Huntmaster” and help run these hunts. I go along with him as the cook and have named myself the “Cookmaster” of the weekend J. The “facilities” are very primitive. We camp in tents, cook over a propane heated “stove”, use a water hose about 25 yards away for cooking, go without electricity, and use a hole dug in the ground with a pop up tent for a bathroom. Let’s just say, feeding/organizing/arranging/teaching/transporting 30 people in these conditions with little sleep can be a little interesting at times. Here is a schedule of our TYHP Weekend:

Friday:

-Arrive at camp (around Gonzales, near Palmetto State Park this time) around 5:00 pm.

-Unload the food and coolers, begin to set up camp, and go for a tour with the land owners to find and mark the way to the hunting blinds where we will be taking the hunters and their parents all weekend.

-Finish setting up camp, make sure the hunters have turned in their paperwork/qualifications/requirements/etc, have a short introduction/rules/timeline/schedule meeting with everyone, then go to sleep.

Saturday:

-Wake up at 4 am to get “cold breakfast” ready for hunters and parents. This include cereal, pastries, pop tarts, coffee, hot chocolate)

-Load up to take hunters and parents to blinds by 5:15-5:30.

-Come back to camp around 6:30-7:00 and take an hour NAP!

-around 9 am, I start making breakfast (breakfast tacos) and Jordan goes to pick up the hunters at 9:30.

-Then we eat, clean up, clean deer, give the hunters a “skills test” (hunter safety), have lunch (sandwiches), and take the hunters back out to the blinds around 3:00.

-I start getting supper ready around 4:00 (stew), then we pick them up and eat around 8:30. Clean up, clean deer, and get to bed around midnight.

Sunday:

-Same morning routine…4 am for breakfast, take hunters and parents to blinds, pick them up, have hot breakfast (pancakes, sausage, and eggs), clean up and clean deer.

-Have the hunters write thank you notes, pack up camp, take pictures, and head home around 12 noon!

To some, this may sound like an awful weekend; however, it really is not that bad, and at times, is enjoyable! I like being outdoors, seeing the excitement in the hunters, preparing food for them, etc. I do not exactly care for the bathroom situation, flies, hard ground for sleeping, or lack of shower. Anyway, we volunteer to be there to help teach the young hunters about the outdoors, hunter safety, cleaning harvested animals, etc. What a great opportunity Jordan and I have to be an influence on these families. We have a chance to be an example to them by our actions and our words: praying before our meals, thanking God for His creation, being patient, being helpful, being servants, etc. Although we had a great opportunity to be Godly examples, I find myself looking back and asking, "Was a Godly example for these people I volunteered to help over the weekend? Could they tell by my words and my actions that I am a Christian? Or did I sigh and become frustrated when the hunters left trash on the ground? Did I mumble and complain when those who were supposed to wash the dirty dishes rushed off to head home and left a stack for me to clean?" I am ashamed to say the answer is yes, I did sigh and become frustrated, I did mumble and complain.

Reflecting on the weekend, I thought about Jesus as a servant, I thought of John 13. Jesus showed the apostles how to be a servant. He knew that Judas would betray Him, He knew that Peter would deny Him, He knew His crucifixion was nearing, but He still washed their feet! He could have easily said, “I am doing all this for you, yet you are going to betray me, so I don’t want to wash your feet.” He could have sighed, mumbled, complained about the road He was about to travel to the cross, but He didn’t. Jesus showed us the heart of a servant many times, and I am so grateful for His example. All I had to do this weekend was cook for the hunters and their parents, yet I too easily became frustrated, complained, mumbled, and sighed because they didn’t help clean up. Jesus gave so much more than a weekend of cooking for the entire world, and He did it without mumbling and complaining. I am thankful for the opportunity to learn from God's Word and so thankful that Jesus showed us how to be true servants. I was on the hunt to be a servant, but I pray that I remember that I was put on this earth to be a servant everywhere, everyday.
Although these TYHP weekends are meant to be learning experiences for the youth hunters, this past weekend was a learning experience for me.

Mark 10:45…”For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”