We've experienced a whole range of emotions over the past 6 weeks. Anticipation about the orientation weekend and meeting the agency. Stress and guilt and deep consideration while filling out form after form (52 forms to be exact). Worry and concern about how we are actually going to come up with $30,000- and, what if we are never able to have biological children; we wanted a large family, how will we be able to adopt 2-3 more times? Failure, because of my inability to carry our children. Insecurity when there are pregnant women and/or moms all around but I am the only one around who can't carry my baby to term. Excitement about providing a loving, Christian home for a child in need. Uncertainty about whether or not the baby will form a bond with me as its Mommy when he/she did not grow in my tummy. Nervousness about the home-study and interview process. Disbelief that this journey has actually begun. Fear about the possibility of a failed placement. Sobriety and joy about the opportunity we may have to minister to the birth mother. Humility from the support shown by friends, family, and even people whom we do not know. Admiration for the birth mothers who selflessly choose a better life for their babies.
Throughout the past six weeks as we have faced some of these emotions, we have seen our Lord work through others by providing support (financially and spiritually), by lending an ear to listen, by showing their excitement and interest. And we know that the Lord is able to provide and take care of us when we face each one of these emotions- whether they be difficult or easy. Pslam 27 has been a go-to read for me lately-
vs. 4- One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: {narrow my focus}
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, {commune often with God}
to behold the beauty of the Lord, {focus on God & His beauty}
and to inquire in His temple. {seek an answer for my problems}
vs. 13-14 - "I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord!"
So, where are we in this process? We are so close to being on "the list"! All of our paperwork is complete and we began the home-study last week. Oddly enough, we started the home-study in Abilene- which is not home. :) We spent 3 hours in an interview with our case worker- one hour together, and about one hour each individually. She will come to our house on the 23rd to complete the home study by checking out our house and finishing up some more questions. Thankfully, our agency does not require us to "baby-proof" the house for the home-study. The only thing we will have to change around the house for the home-study is to have our firearms and ammo locked up separately. Other than that, she basically wants to make sure our house is a safe environment for a child. Once the home-study is complete, we will then be put on the list (hopefully by the beginning of October). The agency tells us the wait time for a child is an average of 12-24 months. However, there is no set time. This is not a first come, first served kind of thing. When a birth mother gets to a certain point in her pregnancy (6-7 months) the agency will show her profiles of families who could potentially "match" her case (based on medical history, age, race, etc). The birth mother will then look at the profiles consisting of a photo album, a letter written to the birth mother from the adoptive families, autobiographies, and basic information (jobs, ages, religion, etc). Once the birth mother chooses a family, a match meeting is set up for the birth mother and adoptive family to meet, along with the case worker. If the meeting goes well and we are chosen, then we have a match! So, the wait really is just dependent on how quickly we get chosen by a birth mother.
What's next after we get a match? A lot will depend on the birth mother, how far along she is in the pregnancy, and what her preferences are. If the birth mother is open to it, we will get to go to ultrasound appointments prior to the birth! We will have a short amount of time to get the nursery ready, but I'm not worried at all about that- I've had a boy nursery and a girl nursery planned for several years now :) Unless we get matched with a "drop in" (a birth mother who has not decided to place her baby for adoption prior to the birth and it is a last minute decision), we should be able to be at the hospital for the birth. Some hospitals give the adoptive parents a room but some don't. Once the baby is born, the state of Texas does not allow the birth mother to sign her rights away until 48 hours after the birth. So, those 48 hours will be very nerve-wracking, as the birth mother can change her mind and decide to keep the baby (this is called a failed placement). Once the 48 hours has passed and she has signed her rights away, we get to take our baby home (if he/she is healthy enough to leave the hospital at that time)! If the birth father did not sign his rights away prior to the birth, he will have 30 days after the birth to come forward and claim his child. After the 30 days have passed, he no longer has parental rights to the baby. Most birth fathers sign their rights away prior to the birth. The baby will legally be under the custody of the agency until our court date and all the legal paperwork is complete. This usually takes about 6 months.
For those who are interested, we are doing a t-shirt fundraiser! We are asking for pre-orders to be in by Saturday, September 19th. Here is a link where you an see and purchase the shirts.
http://www.jmooreoutdoor.com/Adoption-TShirt-Fundraiser
Please continue to pray for us, our future child, and the birth mother!
