Why Isn't God Answering My Prayers?

Have you ever spent a large amount of time praying for the same thing? Maybe you've been praying every day for a month, or six months, or an entire year, or maybe every day for three years, yet God still hasn’t “answered” your prayer? Maybe you've been praying for the health of a loved one, or a financial burden, or a new job, or a spouse, or maybe you, like me, have been praying earnestly for a sweet baby. So, you’ve prayed. And prayed. And prayed. And you’ve asked others to pray. And you’ve prayed believing that God can bless you with what you are asking, and you know that He is able; yet, it still isn’t happening for you. It’s happening for others; God is blessing others with the exact thing for which you’ve been pouring your heart out begging, but not you. When we pray for something for so long and the things we have been asking for aren't happening, it is easy to get discouraged and to start having questions:

‘what’s wrong with me?’, ‘what’s wrong with my prayers?’, ‘am I praying wrong?’, 

'why isn't God answering my prayers?', 'why am I even still praying?' 

Here are three things to consider when it seems that God isn't answering our prayers:

1-     We have to remember that prayer is not simply a wish list that we give to God. It's not simply a list of things that He is supposed to fulfill at our every desire. So we ask the question: What is prayer? Prayer is approaching the throne of God with thanksgiving. Prayer is casting all of our cares on Him. Prayer is praising God, our Father. Prayer is falling to our knees in supplication to the Father. Prayer is comforting, calming, reassuring, and commanded.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6

Where does this peace come from? The "peace that surpasses all understanding" is not a peace that is contingent simply on God fulfilling your prayer wish list. It is a peace that covers every area of your life; it is a peace that can only be found by fully depending upon, trusting in, and committing your life unto God. A peace that says, "Whatever God wills..."

2-    Another thing to remember is that our timeline is not God’s timeline. Maybe He will eventually say ‘yes’ to the things we are asking for in prayer, but maybe He won’t. And if not, He is still good. We need to be persistent in prayer, keep praying for the things we are praying for and be faithful and confident that God hears the prayers of the righteous. (Col. 4:2)

We need not to lose heart while we wait. It is easy to fall into the trap of losing faith in the power of prayer. Ashamedly, I admit that when I have been told by someone that they are praying fervently for us, I have, at times, both said and thought, ‘well, it’s not doing any good.’ Or when someone says ‘God has answered our prayers’ I have thought, ‘why your prayers and not mine?’. What a terrible attitude. I don’t write these things because I am proud of my spiritual struggles, but I write them to let others know that we aren’t expected to be strong all the time. While unwavering spiritual strength should be our goal, we need to remember we are human. People have commented that I have handled our situation very well and that I have been so strong. But at times, I really am not. I want other people who are struggling to realize that they aren’t the only ones having a hard time accepting what God has or has not given them. But I want to encourage others and ask others to encourage me to continue in prayer and to believe in the power of prayer. After such a long time of begging, it is easy to just give up.  

“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16.

“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers…” 1Pet. 3:12

3-   Lastly, we must remember that our plans are not God’s plans. Maybe our plans are somewhere on His timeline; but maybe they aren’t. Maybe He has completely different plans for us. We need to remember to fully trust in God and the plans He has made, even when we don’t know what those plans are. We do know that it is in His plan for us to help others, teach others, and glorify Him in all that we do. So, for me, if that means I have an opportunity to teach others and to glorify God through our struggles in bearing children, then I better do my best and find contentment in doing so. We do know some of His plan; we know He has Heaven planned for us and He desires that all mankind should enter into eternity with Him- what better plan could we have than that?!

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…UNTO HIM BE GLORY IN THE CHURCH AND IN CHRIST JESUS THROUGHOUT ALL GENERATIONS, FOREVER AND EVER.” Eph. 3:20

If you are interested in an in-depth study of prayer, I encourage you to check out the Bible Marking post on Prayer at Come Fill Your Cup. 

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Adoption Update:

We have been on the list now for 1 month and 12 days. People ask when we think we will hear something, but we really have absolutely no idea. I don't have much of an update for you, since nothing is happening, so I will jump right into the currently popular questions...

1- Do you get to name the baby?
     Short answer- yes. Long answer.... We will discuss this when we have a match meeting with the birth mother once we are chosen. Sometimes the birth mother wants to give the baby a name, sometimes she goes with the name the adoptive parents have chosen, and sometimes they decide together. If the birth mother wants to pick the name, we can always have the name changed on the birth certificate. The last name will be changed when the adoption is finalized anyway, about 6 months after the baby is born. Of course this will be decided upon at the match meeting. Do we have names picked out? YES and we love them! With my addiction to planning, you shouldn't be surprised to know that we've have the names picked out for a while; the girl name has been picked for about 5 years and the boy name was decided upon earlier this year. Emmalyn Grace and Jackson Grady are the names we have picked and we can't wait to meet and hold and love and raise him or her! Ever wonder why we choose the names we do for sample baby monogrammed items at our store? Now you know! :)

2- What if you get a call for a baby tomorrow- are you ready?
     Um, YES we are ready. We have been ready and waiting for three years! Now, is our house ready....no, not exactly. But we really aren't concerned about that at all. We do have a boy crib and a girl crib, but that is about it. In most situations, after a call is received for a match, we will likely have a month or two before the birth of the baby. Of course, it could be a situation in which the baby was just born and we pick him/her up within a couple of days, but that is not very common. And if so, then that's great too. As far as nurseries go, we (or I) :) have had decorations and fabrics picked out for a long time. So, once we know if it is a boy or a girl, I wouldn't be surprised if we had that nursery completed in a couple of weeks! :)


If you ordered an adoption t-shirt, first of all THANK YOU! Second, they are ready! We have mailed several out and handed out most of them, but if you have not received yours, you can contact us or we will contact you to figure out a time to get it to you.

Thanks for keeping up with our slow moving journey to becoming parents!